Speaking American

Son Number One, "I'm starting to speak American"

Il Capo, "Why, what do you say?"

"I say jelly instead of jam...

"Yes..."

"...and I say electric stairs instead of escalator..."

"Americans say escalator too."

"Well I say electric stairs."

"OK."

"And I say 'war-er' instead of water"

"That's not speaking American, that's just not pronouncing your t's, you can speak American and still pronounce all your letters."

"Well why do American's say 'war-er'?"

"Um, well... er... ooh, look at that balloon!"