Monday, June 2, 2008

Job swap

Speaking of Disney, I couldn't help but wonder as I queued for the attractions last week, what would happen if the people in charge of the DisneyWorld rides and the people in charge of the DMV swapped jobs? (The DMV is the Department of Motor Vehicles, where you must go for a licencse and annually for vehicle registration. Here's an example of the DMV experience.

The DMV line would wind past interesting posters on the walls perhaps about the history of the car, classic US cars, or fascinating facts about how many people are attended to each day, to offset the impression that no one is. They might have car crashes installed as exhibits to warn of the dangers of inattention or drinking. They would definitely have someone in an animal suit, perhaps a flat roadkill animal.

Space Mountain, on the other hand, would have an aircraft hanger filled with plastic seats and a couple of fans whirring away high above. You would take a ticket, wait for your number to be called when you would go and stand next to a 40 inch stick to prove you were tall enough. Once observed to be satisfactorily tall, you would take another number and sit down again until you were called and asked if you were pregnant, suffered back or incontinence problems, or had a fear of enclosed places. Having taken another number and sat down a third time, you would wait to be taken to a window where you would sign three forms and pay a fee (cash only). Then you would be led to the ride, to discover that it was no longer in the dark so the security cameras could record the ride, in case of a later law-suit.

By the way, I'm writing this on the morning train and I have a gentleman next to me, sleeping, his head slumped forward. Every time we go around a left bend he snuggles up against me. What is the correct etiquette here? Should I wake him? Should I give him a gentle push onto the man on the other side? Perhaps we could ping pong him back and forth. If I had the aisle seat, I could stand up at a strategic moment and watch flop horizontal, but I'm stuck against the window. Help me here someone!

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